MY BRAIN HAS THOUGHTS, TOO, YOU KNOW

1. I do not think that farmers paint their barns red because the color is cheap. I think they paint their barns red because the bulls and the cows are attracted to it, like El Torro.

2. If you're a bodyguard, you need big white teeth, expensive sunglasses and a tuxedo. And you need to have lots of muscles and never smile.

3. Birds are taught not to smile because their beaks will crack if they do.

4. Lollipops are high in chloresterol. (It's good to hear Mom laughing again.)

5. Miracles never happen when you need one. Only when you don't.

6. I think that air conditioners were invited by Einstein the Great.

7. Mickey Mouse needs a hairdo.

8. If you smell a bad flower, it causes you bad luck. I don't know why. Don't ask me. Ask Einstein.

9. The reason that you can't hit a fly is because they're so dirty, that they're radioactive, so each time you swing at a fly and miss and try to smash it to death, the fly is saving your life.

10. Bumblebees have no sense of humor. Like once a friend of mine said he told a joke to a bumblebee, and the bumblebee stung him. That was not the answer to the joke.

Security, gets these guys out of my website. It's private. It's top secret. So never read it. Saying of the Day: This town ain't big enough for the both of us.