A CENTURY AGO ...

My great-grandmother was born! Incredible, isn't it? In 1906, Lena Goldman was born. She lived in Burlington, North Carolina, and ran a shoe store called Goldman's Shoes. It was a tiny town. So when Goldman's Shoes closed, it was big news in the paper. In 1930, Lena had her first and only son, who over the years came to be my grandfather, Erwin Goldman. He helped Lena run the shoestore, fetching shoes for the customers. Now, 76 years later, she's 100. She doesn't even wear glasses or walk with a cane. Whenever I come into her apartment, she always makes a big bustle about if I want something to eat. She always asks, "Do you want a cookie? Or some eggs?" Or any other thing like that.

She has this painting in her living room of her husband, Isodore Goldman, which is where my name, Isaac, comes from. (My parents didn't want to name me Izzie, because they thought it was just too unusual a name.) In her living room, she also has an old Panasonic TV. She says it's a new one. To her, it is, because she used to have one where you didn't even have buttons, you had to switch the channels. She also has in her living room what seems like 300 family pictures, from me to my cousin five times removed. It's true. I forget his name. In her fantastic living room, she also has this great big armchair she always sits in. It's striped, light green and white. Also, she has this magnificent silver bowl of candy, a little thing, pure silver, or so everyone says, and the top's incredibly hard to get on once you take it off. I think it's so if little kids sneak some candy, the parents will know.

This past Saturday was Lena's birthday party. And what a party it was. All the old people from her retirement home came to the party, which was in the retirement home's lobby. Every single person that was related to her in any way, and the people that knew her in any way, came. I made a speech in front of all those people, which was about, my estimate, 70, maybe more. My speech, if my memory is correct, went something like this:

Finally, a hundred years. Wow. A hundred birthdays. A hundred years ago, Lena Goldman was born. And she doesn't look 100. More like 60. Okay, maybe 75. But she sure doesn't look 100. She looks as though she could wrestle a grizzly bear. Deep inside, she's as tough as an elephant hide. Happy Birthday, Lena!

After my speech, I went to the chocolate fountain, which I forgot to mention. It was awesome. It was melted chocolate that you could dip things into. It was just like a water fountain. It kept recycling and recycling the chocolate that didn't get eaten. I filled a cup with it. The director of the party told my grandfather he had never seen a kid eat so much chocolate.

So, Happy Birthday, Great Mama, you hundred-year-old, lovable rascal!

Alright guys, thanks for the money. Now, get out of my website before I call security on you!

I NEED A VACATION

As my my mom walked in the door, a feeling of glee spread across my body. I felt like doing, even though I don't know how, one billion cartwheels. I zoomed out of the classroom, grabbed my stuff and I was ready to get to the train station and go to Connecticut. What seemed like 100 hours later, we finally arrived at my grandma's house. It was only me and my grandma. My mom and my aunt were out doing some stuff. I watched a basketball game with my grandma. Then my grandmother went to bed and so did I.

Cockadoodledoo. It was Christmas Eve. I hung out all day and went to my uncle's friend's party. I dressed up like a deranged Santa Claus. I wore a suit, fancy shoes and a Santa Claus hat and sunglasses. I stayed up extremely late that day. I stayed up 'til midnight but did not catch old St. Nick. In the morning, I woke up and I said, "Oh, another day in my life. What should I do today? Wait a second! It's not just anyday. It's Christmas!" I went over to the tree and started to count my loot. "Oh goody," I said. "It looks like I got lots of good stuff this year." Finally, when my cousin arrived from his dad's we opened presents. This is a list of the things that I got: A $50 gift certificate to Toys R Us from my uncle and aunt.
A pinball machine from Santa (or so that's what my mom says).
A DVD from my aunt, Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers.
A book of birds that's more than a 1,000 pages long from my aunt.
From my grandma, a puzzle, which I exchanged for a wacky, goochey toy, which I named Gooche.
And also from my grandma, a game called Wordigo.
Then I got from my mom a DVD on birds (wow, birds are a hit this Christmas).
A book of film from my mother, which is pretty awesome.
Also from Santa a remote control car.
And from my dear mother I received a puzzle of North American that has exactly 530 pieces.
(It was my favorite one.)
I got a chessboard that is pretty fancy.
And from my dear uncle Bob I received the 2005 quarters in mint condition and a bunch of other coins in mint condition.
So that was what I got for Christmas.
The next day, with my certificate from Toys R Us, me and my cousin, who also received a $50 gift certificate to Toys R Us, we went to Toys R Us. I got a game called Bull's Eye Ball. Which turned out to be very fun actually. My cousin, who is five, spent his gift certificate on one gift, a Darth Vader helmet voice changer. When I got my Bull's Eye Ball game, I spent $20. So I still have $30 left. Whoopee!
The next day, when my cousin went back to his dad's, I went ice skating for my first time. I went to a rink. It was freezing in there! It must have been eighty below! I was pretty good for my first time. After that, I went to see my Aunt Dot who's in a nursing home. I walked up to her room with my grandmother and my dear mother. The ladies talked while I sat in a chair and read my Calvin and Hobbes book. Then, my aunt started to talk about some interesting things. I went over there and talked with her. I interviewed her about lots of stuff. My mom and grandmom found out lots of stuff they did not know. The thing that we were talking about was about an author named Truman Capote. My dear old Auntie Dot beat him in a writing contest when they were about fifteen years old. Whoa hoa! When he found out she won he called my aunt a dirty word. Then, we went home.
Then, with my Uncle Bob, who is a real character, we went to play pool. He beat me twice in a row. Beginner's luck. Then, we played a game of darts. He was surprised at how good I was at darts. I told him, "Hey, even if my hand isn't sharp, it was made for throwing darts, my dear uncle." Then, my mom and I went home and I went beddie-bye.

I woke up in the morning. Today was the day we were going home on the train. Choo choo. My mom was doing a long, long errand, I was staying with my Uncle Bob. We had a great time. We ate pizza by the box. We went to Home Depot and watched TV. My mom came and picked me up and we went to reception at the Maritime Center. The food was scrumdiddleumptious. When the reception was over, we went home on the train. Finally, twenty hours later, we arrived at our apartment. I checked on all my animals. My snake needed a shed, so I gave it to him. My birds were fine and so were my gatos.

The next day, me and my dad were going to North Carolina. North Carolina was great. We celebrate Hanukah. Then, three days later, I was home again. I am spending five days with my mom. The first day we just hung out. The second day, today, we are going to a Wizards game! Before the Wizards game, I blogged. Then, I was writing: Get out of my website! on my blog. I mean it!