DA DA DA DA DA DA DA BAT BOY

(This was written on July 24)

Okay, Okay I know I have yet another crazy title. But you’ll find out about the title in the middle of my blog. My mom and I went to the mountains in Virginia yesterday on Saturday. When we got there, couldn’t find a cabin. Can you believe it? Well, we did find a cabin but we didn’t know if it was ours. Then after a gazillion hours of what it seemed like, we finally settled in. Inside the cabin, there are deer heads. They’re not bloody, they’re nice and clean and mounted by the stairway. The place has ten beds. Not one, not two, not three, not four, not five, not six, not seven, not eight, not nine, but ten! Then, we went to the river to check it out. We saw minnows and snails. I picked up some smalls off a rock they were living on. Since they needed water, I kept them out for about 15 seconds and then I put them back in. My mom was chicken and we had to go back because there were guns shooting. But in this case she was not chicken because there are no chickens in this part of Virginia. She was a wild turkey because there are wild turkeys in Virginia. Are you following me? If not please write to me care of this blog and I will give myself 11 spankings.

The cows are right near us. They make a heck of a noise. But the cows mooing are no match for the dogs’ annoying bark!! Then since we were about to starve and there was nothing to eat, we went to find a restaurant or a store. But my mom was a wild turkey in the mountains because she’s afraid of heights. When finally she got so wild turkey we had to stop. We stopped at a lookout. At least that’s what mom called it. And I enjoyed the glorious beautiful magical radical awesome view of the mountains. Then we drove back and stopped at the general store. I have no clue why it’s called a general store because they don’t even sell guns or swords there. But they did sell extremely good candy. Speaking of which, I got some gum. And I’m going to get a piece. See you in about 11.8 seconds. So long, folks. Always brush your teeth.

Look who’s back? It’s the greatest, it’s the amazing ISAAC!! Then we got back to the cabin. (Oh yeah, when we were driving here we stopped at The Apple House, and it was scrumpdidiliumptious. We had barbecue and baked beans and cole slaw. And it’s a miracle I tell you the baked beans didn’t even make me fart.) When we got back the sky was lighting up. I thought it was the end of the world. But no. It was fireflies. Hip hip hooray! Then, we say bats! They almost our heads. My mom was a wild turkey once again. That’s the end of the blog. Come back and see me next week or sooner than thee. Now really, get out. No autographs right now. GET OUT! Security!

P.S. This is a list of animals I’ve seen and heard so far: three deer, hundreds thousands millions trillions of dogs barking, two toads that needed to go on a diet, they we so radical (my mom says they were cute; finally, a woman who likes toads), some cows that really needed to go on the south beach diet; some cute little sheepie and lambies that had big red spots as markings on them. I noticed some of them were naked without fur because they’d just been shaved by the evil razor. And of course the fireflies. And I notice something, their butts were really big, so they could light up more. And some oozie woozie slimy grimy sticky icky (not to me though) gross but awesome snails. And of course, the amazing, the great, the fantastical, the radical da da da da BATS that almost hit our heads! Okay, get out. Sorry, no autographs. Security! Help! They’re all over me! Ow that’s my eye. Ow my buttocks! SECURITY!