TOUR DE WASHINGTON

Today my psychotic mom rode her new fixed bicycle to school with me. At school, we practiced for a test called the Salmon. Just joking. Called the Aprenda. Then we split up into groups. Blah. Blah. Blah. After that, we went to library. Then, lunch. Yummy! I had my mom's special homemade super-delicious nutritious funny cool lunch. After that, recess. We played soccer. Then, back to class. Read aloud. A fun game of Simon Says. Then, Writer's Workshop. Today I wrote a poem. It was about reading. The poem went like this:

When you open a book, you open a world, an adventure.
It can be about a cute little panda bear.
Or a ten-ton tyrannasauros rex.
Or it can be about the fascinating world of toilets.
Don't read a cookbook if you want to be a teacher.
If you want to be a teacher, read a teacher book.
So open a book, take a look. It can be about some spooky tales.
Or a book about big fat whales.
So if it's a rainy day, I know what to say.
Open a book, open a book. Take a look! Take a look!

After school, my mom came to get me. We rode on our bikes to boring old piano. (Just joking.) My lesson was fabuloso. Then we rode home and stopped at Vace, a pizza place. We had a picnic. Then rode home. Then hung out and did homework and wrote in my blog. The end. Now get out of my website!

GREEN WITH ENVY

Today we had P.E. It was really cool. My Best Friend got to be the teacher of P.E. for the whole day!! We had P.E. at 8:45 to 10 o'clock. My Best Friend was a pretty good teacher for the first time I thought. First we played sideline soccer. Which is the game where there are two teams, each on a sideline. There are two goals with no goalies. Your team gets numbers. Like 7, 6, 5, 2, 1, and 10. And the other team gets numbers. Then somebody calls your numbers, like 3 and 3 and 7 and 8. Then you go and play each other one on one. Mine was against my friend. I won. Sometimes in sideline soccer they call two or three numbers from one side. But once when it called me and two people on my team were against three other people on the team. I scored one great sliding goal through the legs of my opponent. Then My Best Friend -- we called him Coach -- then he called the whole team to play against the other team. It was a tie, zero to zero. Then next we did a soccer game. I scored two and it was 2 - 1. Then we played this really fun game called Clean Up Your Room. It was so awesome, I almost fainted. After P.E., My Best Friend still got to teach the other classes. I was green with envy because My Best Friend got to miss class and teach P.E. He's a very lucky kid.

After school, we had soccer practice. We played lots of games, like scrimmage and one goal soccer. And wing channel. I call it buffalo wing channel. I asked my coach during water break what does "fire at will" mean. (That was in The Incredibles.) He said, "It means fire a guy named Will." I thought it was pretty funny and I cracked up laughing and I had a laugh attack, which is like a heart attack but these crazy doctors haven't invented a cure yet. After soccer practice, I played with my friend and his dad. It was World Cup. After that, I came home and I started writing in my blog. If you want to read what I wrote, just go to blog.com and see Isaac's Mind and go to Green With Envy. Alright. Show's over. Get out!

PASSOVER: BORING!

This weekend, I went to Greensboro, North Carolina. It was great. My grandparents looked a little slower but they were still their old selves. When I got there, I ran around the house like a maniac because I was trapped in the car for about 9,000 hours. (I like to exaggerate.) I went to bed but I wasn't happy about it. It was pretty late when I got to bed, 12:30 to be exact. A little while later, I snuck into my grandparents' bed, where they were talking. But I couldn't understand them because they were talking grownup language. Then they told me to go back to bed and they scolded me. I went back into bed. I snuck downstairs then walked around. Then I went to put Silly Putty on my grandparents' door knob. Then I went back to bed, into slumberland, which is a grownup word that means dreamland, which in my case was a very scary place for girls. I woke up at six o'clock, 5:56 and 12 seconds to be exact. I went downstairs and turned on all the lights. Then I went back upstairs and climbed into my grandparents bed and said, "Wake up! Wake up!" Then my grandmother said, "Isaac, sleep or get out." So I slept but I didn't really sleep, I talked. So I got kicked out.

Then I went into bed and looked for my Silly Putty. But then I remembered that I had put it on my grandparents' door knob. So I said to my dad, or an annoying, bossy person (he knows I'm joking when I say that) , "Wake up." He didn't like that, and said that I should leave him alone in the future when he is really tired from that 9,000 hour drive to North Carolina. And in normal times when he sleeps. Then I went into my uncle's room and I got out his comics. I made a mess. But who cares. I found a lot of cool comics, like Batman and Superman. But also I found a comic of my favorite superhero, Spider Man. I read them. I thought they were great. Then I waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited. Then, finally it was 8:30 and my grandparents finally got up. My grandfather, whom I call Poppy, rushed to get his clothes and I said, "What's the hurry, Murray? uh ... Erwin ... uh Poppy ... What's his name?" He said, "I have to go to Great Mama's. She said she was sick." Great Mama is my great-grandmother. She's getting pretty old. Well, not that old. Just 99. And my dad went with him.

I stayed alone with my grandmother, whom I call Nana. I watched a basketball game and ate breakfast and then Poppy and my dad came back. I practiced piano. I was sort of cooperative, which is pretty good for me because after that Dad promised we were going to the Y with Poppy. We drove to the Y. My dad went running and me and Poppy played basketball. I made five 3 pointers in a row and I played Poppy one on one. I beat him 26 to 25. It was a close game. He was a fair match. But he just couldn't survive my talent. Then, I went swimming with my dad. I didn't swim laps. I went into the family pool because they had a water slide and a really big pool. I went on the water slide and me and my dad played in the water. Then he said I was freezing. And I said, "Ah, we've only been here for 15 minutes." He said, "I'm going to go dry. I'm going to watch you. You can stay here for five more minutes."

After the Y, we rushed back home. Of course, Poppy and my dad were in a rush to get to the Seder even though we had two more hours. It was at the Weisberger's place. When we got there, I introduced myself and I hung out until it was time for the Seder. I got to read the four questions because I was the youngest one there by a year. It was so boring before we ate. I almost fell asleep and I was a squirmy worm moving around in my chair. My dad gave me three warnings for me to sit still or I would get kicked out of the table. After I read the four questions, I felt relieved. The pressure was off. When we ate, I had to talk to this girl that was nine years old because my dad said it was mature. But I wasn't born to be mature. After that, we all got to hang out. I wrestled with this big guy whose name was Ryan. We had a great time. He was 14 but acted like he was my age when he played with me. Then the grownups hid the Afikomen. I found it! We both got pure silver dollar coins that were made in 1888. After the Seder, we went back home. I had to go straight to bed. Lame!

In the morning, we rushed to Great Mama's to say good-bye. Poppy went with us. Then, I said good-bye to Poppy and Great Mama and it was Washington, here I come. Then I went home and my dad packed everything back into the house. Then I went to my mom's. I rode my bike there. I was very glad to see her. We went to see if her bike was fixed but the store was closed. Bummer. Then, I wrote in my blog. Do you went to read it? Well, just go to the blog, and go to Isaac's Mind, and you will see Mysterious Man I Am and Passover: Boring! and you can read it.

THE MYSTERIOUS MAN I AM

I'm a boy. Eight years of age. I've had a cruel and despairing life. Just kidding!
That's my first post. Got it? Now get out.