THE DAY A SNAKE SURVIVOR WAS BORN

One dark cold week of school, I was sick as a cat. I mean as a dog. Or in this case, a snake. I had a case of extremely bad cold. On Sunday, the weekend before I got sick, I got a snake. But then when we were home, my mom forgot the bedding. So we went back to the store, got the bedding, came home and got the cage ready. We were about to put the snake in. I opened the box and in there I couldn't believe what I saw. Nothing. That's what I saw. Just nothing. The snake was gone. I reckon I would have won The Most Upset Contest. My mom felt really sorry for me. She's a good dame. We went back to the store and she got me another snake. I was feeling okay after that, but I felt guilty because it was my doing, the snake's disappearance or maybe death. Bless the Lord. Then after a couple of days, the snake was fine, blah blah blah. Then we were driving to the doctor's office, which was like a 30-minute drive, when something falls on my lap. I thought it was just a little piece of junk or something, but then as I looked down I saw a thing slithering into a seatbelt buckle. And only one word popped into my mind. Snake!!! So my trusty mom pulled over the car. She got a stick. And a coffee cup at 7-11. And we began looking for the snake in the car. Then I shouted, "There she slithers!" The snake was on the floor sticking its tongue out at me, literally. Now remember this. This was a pretty shocking experience when one is sick and weak and does not have an appetite. I was too scared, I don't know why, to pick it up. I usually love to hold snakes. For some reason, I didn't. Without touching it, I finally managed to capture it in the coffee cup. You know those little slots (Gee, I wonder which bozo invented those things) that you drink from he escaped from it. Then I finally got my courage to pick him up. The end was history. We captured him back in the car. Then we got some paper and tape to cover the hole. And I went to the doctor's. And the rest was history!! Thank you, thank you. Allright, seriously. Stay behind the security fences, folks. I know, I like you guys, too. I'm serious. Security!