BEES VERSUS ISAAC

(This was written on July 26.)

Wednesday 7:45 P.M.

It was a sunny and beautiful day. I the magnificent no too weak for words to describe me. No I the Glorious. No no. The Bedazzled. No, that’s the wrong word. I the Ferocious Lizard Hunter was looking for lizards on that day. I put my hand in the crack. Before I could say, Hi hi jackrabbit in a hi hi jo jo bo," a stab of pain pierced my flesh. I saw the monster, a gigantic two inch bee. Or maybe it was a wasp. Maybe it was a hornet. Aw the heck with it. As I was saying I saw the two inch whatever and I saw it on my hand. Its stinger deep into my soft flesh. I flung the two inch whatever into the deep grassy field. The pain was unimaginable, as though someone was holding a red hot hot burning volcano fierty hot poker on my poor beautiful and glorious thumb. And holding it there until George Bush was finally out of being president. I’m hit I cried or other words stung. That’s the second time I’ve been hit since I was here at the cabin by bumblebee honey wasp or hornet or whatever. I stumbled to the door, pain still flaring in my cute little thumb. Luckily my mother was there and I held it under the cold water for about a minute or a minute point eight seconds.Then I stumbled into the bed. I started to see black. But then the smell of fresh bacon, Virginia bacon to be exact, suddenly cured me. And cooked by the best cook in the world, my mom. No, universe. Since today was a hangout day without lots of action, I suppose you could call it action, because I got stung by the bumble bee or the honey bee or the wasp or whatever., I saw a hummingbird all by myself. Let’s not talk about that. Let’s talk what I did since I last blogged. I went to a lake, which I called the black black lagoon. It has this floaty thing in the middle of the lake with a diving board and a water slide. And you’ll get a kick out of this: There was a chain a real chain and all good things have their drawbacks and this drawback was unless you were actually seriously not fake really drowning. And also we went to the water hole in the river the Indians call Wawawhatoola. And there was this soak where Thomas Jefferson went. You know the old guy who used to be president. I loved it! It had rocks at the bottom. And as I said before, all great things have their drawbacks. The drawback here was you couldn’t swim, you can’t even go under. That’s all I have to say. Good-bye folks. Stand back now. No touching. Hey, that’s my mustache. Security!

P.S. Today I saw four deer at the same time. When our car drove by they ran like badly confused rabbits. Now I’m about to go to my own private island with officially flavored sand. So, long folks. Just for the fun of it, I’m going to call security!