Wednesday, January 25, 2006

A CENTURY AGO ...

My great-grandmother was born! Incredible, isn't it? In 1906, Lena Goldman was born. She lived in Burlington, North Carolina, and ran a shoe store called Goldman's Shoes. It was a tiny town. So when Goldman's Shoes closed, it was big news in the paper. In 1930, Lena had her first and only son, who over the years came to be my grandfather, Erwin Goldman. He helped Lena run the shoestore, fetching shoes for the customers. Now, 76 years later, she's 100. She doesn't even wear glasses or walk with a cane. Whenever I come into her apartment, she always makes a big bustle about if I want something to eat. She always asks, "Do you want a cookie? Or some eggs?" Or any other thing like that.

She has this painting in her living room of her husband, Isodore Goldman, which is where my name, Isaac, comes from. (My parents didn't want to name me Izzie, because they thought it was just too unusual a name.) In her living room, she also has an old Panasonic TV. She says it's a new one. To her, it is, because she used to have one where you didn't even have buttons, you had to switch the channels. She also has in her living room what seems like 300 family pictures, from me to my cousin five times removed. It's true. I forget his name. In her fantastic living room, she also has this great big armchair she always sits in. It's striped, light green and white. Also, she has this magnificent silver bowl of candy, a little thing, pure silver, or so everyone says, and the top's incredibly hard to get on once you take it off. I think it's so if little kids sneak some candy, the parents will know.

This past Saturday was Lena's birthday party. And what a party it was. All the old people from her retirement home came to the party, which was in the retirement home's lobby. Every single person that was related to her in any way, and the people that knew her in any way, came. I made a speech in front of all those people, which was about, my estimate, 70, maybe more. My speech, if my memory is correct, went something like this:

Finally, a hundred years. Wow. A hundred birthdays. A hundred years ago, Lena Goldman was born. And she doesn't look 100. More like 60. Okay, maybe 75. But she sure doesn't look 100. She looks as though she could wrestle a grizzly bear. Deep inside, she's as tough as an elephant hide. Happy Birthday, Lena!

After my speech, I went to the chocolate fountain, which I forgot to mention. It was awesome. It was melted chocolate that you could dip things into. It was just like a water fountain. It kept recycling and recycling the chocolate that didn't get eaten. I filled a cup with it. The director of the party told my grandfather he had never seen a kid eat so much chocolate.

So, Happy Birthday, Great Mama, you hundred-year-old, lovable rascal!

Alright guys, thanks for the money. Now, get out of my website before I call security on you!

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